Dear fellow New Moms,
Do you feel that being a new mom is extremely draining for you?
Do you feel that even after conversing with other fellow new moms, you seem to be having a much more difficult time coping with motherhood than other moms?
If you find yourself saying 'Yes!' to the above questions, you may be an Empath entering motherhood. Some people do not realize they are Empaths till they become new moms. Prior to becoming a mother, you may find it easy to spend as much alone time as you need each day to recover from any draining experiences. But, as a new mom, and especially if you are the main caregiver with little external help, you may feel the energy drain much more intensely.
Do read on if you suspect or already know that you are an Empath New Mom and identify with the energy drain!
What is an Empath?
I believe everyone has the capacity for empathy, but not everyone is an Empath. Caroline's article- "Being Empathic versus Being an Empath: Crucial Differences" is wonderful at highlighting the differences between the two.
Being an Empath simply means you are clairsentient - you feel the energetic effect of emotions, thoughts and words of others' so deeply that you can physically feel hurt and/or uplifted by how others feel and think. You can even feel others' physical pain as well. The term 'others' can mean a specific person, a specific group or the mass consciousness.
As only a minority of the whole human population are Empaths, the way we react to the energetic reality can seem to be totally out of proportion to the common population. Having regular periods of alone time is absolutely necessary for us Empaths to stay digest / release / integrate the energies we have taken in so that we feel free and safe to deal with our own lives.
What is the Gift of being an Empath New Mom?
The gift of being an Empath New Mom is that you can easily feel the strong life force energy pulsating from your newborn, and every time he/she is feeling contented and calm you enjoy that peace and calm in an amplified manner as well. The pure uninhibited feelings emanating from your newborn (unlike the complicated feelings we usually sense from adults) is such a joy for you as an Empath mom to experience! There is a wonderfully strong connection between you and your baby.
Similarly, your gift as an Empath New Mom will keep you alert of any warning signs way before others. You will be the first one to detect any signs of discomfort and illness from your newborn, even before the physical signs start to show. You know this simply by feeling that something is not quite right.
What can make an Empath New Mom feel drained?
It is common for new moms to feel drained especially due to lack of sleep at night when they need to attend to the baby, and due to other emotional pressures in taking care of the newborn, but these are not the only things that makes an Empath New Mom feel drained.
Healthy Empaths need enough alone time each day to discharge energies they might have absorbed so that they can restore their usual peaceful nature and stay open enough to continue using their gift of Empathy.
As an Empath New Mom looking after your baby 24/7, it may be challenging to plan for enough alone time each day for your self-care. You may even be unwiling to leave your baby as you sense his/her vulnerability and need for your attention.
It gets even more draining for you as you experience your baby's frequent fluctuations in his/her emotions. He/she can be calm and contented one moment, then wailing the next moment. A colicky baby would even cry for a few hours continuously on a daily basis for a few months. Though tending to a colicky baby naturally causes distress to any new mom, Empath New Moms tend to feel this distress from their babies in an amplified manner.
This prolonged period of unintentionally absorbing distress and pain from your baby, added to the inevitable loss of night-time sleep for most moms, could lead to these reactions:
- You may become so attached to your baby and want to be your baby's whole Universe that you do not trust anyone else to take good care of him/her. This causes a further unwillingness to set aside more Me time, leaving you feeling more drained.
- When you feel so drained energetically, you no longer feel "open" enough to sense your baby's emotions. You can no longer tell why he is upset when he cries. It is super upsetting for an Empath to lose this precious connection with her newborn.
- This energy drain on you can trigger you into a self-defensive mode when you can no longer bear to see/hear/hold your baby. You just feel like escaping from being a Mom so you can feel what it's like to be yourself again.
How do I know all these? Because this was what I experienced in being an Empath and a New mom to my two sons. Through intense self-healing and active discussion with other Empaths whom are also mothers, I found that what I experienced was also common to what other Empath moms experienced too!
Tips to being your healthy Empath self again
Over the years, I have also been helping many Empaths using a modality called The Wonder Method, to release their energy drain so they feel healthy and whole again. This is what I usually do for this situation:
- After creating a safe space for healing, I would tune into my client's energy drain and allow it to unfold. I find that this step allows my client to receive all the energy that she needs to feel whole again. She would usually start to breathe a lot more deeply and release her emotional overwhelm.
- Then I would wonder what it might be about for her to feel balanced and grounded while taking care of her baby.
- I would also wonder what it might be about for her to trust in the healthy development of her relationship with her baby.
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