How best to deal with Mommy Guilt

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How best to deal with Mommy Guilt

· mommy guilt,motherhood,emotional healing

Every morning when I lifted a little body out of a crib, big blue eyes looking to me for direction and nourishment, I felt a stabbing sense of being alone...
It was more of a heaviness, knowing I was the one who would choose everything that would touch my child's life that day, and most days.. 
The question that pummeled me day after day after day was this: Was I doing it right? - Susan Besze Wallace, author of "The New Mom's Guide to life with baby"

The quotation above describes exactly what I felt as a new mom (especially in the early days of caring for my two newborns). It is one thing to know what you expect from yourself as a mother before you become one, but walking (or rather stumbling and even tumbling) down the path of caring for and parenting your child/children can totally deviate from your original expectations.

This huge responsibility that can weigh so heavily on us Moms, often leads to Mommy Guilt. And when you are riddled with guilt, you will feel even more weighed down and drained, with even more doubt in being your best mommy self.

Top 3 tips on dealing with Mommy Guilt

As an energy healer specializing in emotional healing, here are my top 3 tips on dealing with mommy guilt:

1) Process what you feel about each incident as soon as possible.
Emotion is "Energy in Motion". Our emotions are not meant to stay in our bodies, but rather, to be processed and moved through so we can continue to experience new experiences. Keeping the Guilt in us does not make us better moms at all!
When you are willing and open to feeling what you really felt from each incident, your body and mind catches up on what you needed to learn from that experience.

2) Do not rationalize why you are feeling what you are feeling.
Our feelings are irrational, and the more you try to rationalize what you are feeling, the harder it is to truly release those feelings. Allow yourself to be the emotional creature that you are, and allow yourself the freedom to actually feel what you are feeling without censoring them.
Sometimes Guilt can be accompanied by Pleasure.
For example, I never liked yelling before I became a mom, but yelling at my kids sometimes gave me a feeling of power I never had before. If I rationalized and stopped myself from feeling that pleasure of power, I would just be suppressing a part of who I am, and the urge to yell at them might even get stronger. If I allowed myself to feel both the guilt and the pleasure, I feel lighter and less inclined to give in to that urge the next time a similar situation happens.

3) Feel love for yourself.
There are so many moms out there, yet each motherhood journey is so very unique. When you are walking the journey filled with so many unknowns, being your own best friend is so crucial in helping you keep the faith to keep on walking, stumbling, tumbling down the path, so you'll get to the parts when you'll skip, hop and run with glee with the family you have built.
Yes Mommy Guilt is a common phenomenon, but that does not mean you have to tolerate it and let it wear you down. Give yourself a little hug after you have processed the guilt and forgiven yourself. It is okay to be vulnerable. What you feel about your own motherhood journey is the sum total of all your experiences. Love each experience as part of your life.