Return to site

Facing our shadows

my self-exploration into my shadow side

“Your Darkness holds clues to your Light. Find out why you fear it, and why you are so ashamed of it. Take a few deeps breaths, go within, and invite your darkness to be seen and felt and known. Use your Light to see your Darkness.”

These words came through but I had no clear knowing of what it means for me. I, too, am afraid to acknowledge my darkness. A few days later, after nursing my baby son and having him napping peacefully beside me, I asked to take a look at my anger, and asked what it could teach me about my Light. You see, ever since my firstborn has morphed into an angel/demon with horrible demonic tantrums, I have lost my cool many times and became quite a yeller, and was even quite rough with him in an attempt to show him who is the real boss here. Those episodes often ended with me ‘winning’ but feeling extremely guilty of showing power that way. That, to me is not the right way to educate my children.

So, when I invited my anger in, I felt it burning hot in my chest and building tension in my jaws. We usually store anger in our jaws by clenching our teeth unconsciously and forgetting to relax them fully when the ‘threat’ ends. I let the anger continue to unfold, thanking myself for being aware of what I was feeling. All of a sudden there was a shift, and I opened to a ‘clearer’ version of ME.

This ME understands how to use power and compassion concurrently.

This ME is gentle yet assertive.

This ME sees the bigger truth.

Though I am still not fully the bigger ME yet, I set an intention during that space to be more gentle and assertive. My crown space felt more open while processing this thought.

What gifts do you see lurking in your Darkness? When you are ready to learn from the dark side of you, do “use your Light to see your Darkness”. Make sure that you are grounded in this knowing that you are inherently Divine and a precious being, before looking to learn from your shadow side.